I've haven't posted for a while but I have been lurking. My first novel is now finally ready to be sent off to some agents and I am struggling with the whole submissions package. I have drafted two brief summaries of the book below that will form part of the query letter. As some of you may recall, I am writing an adult fantasy novel and whilst many of you hate the genre I would appreciate your honest opinions on the blurbs below. The first captures more what the book is about and the second is more personal, focussing on one character (There are 3 main POV characters in the novel): I would love to hear your thoughts:
Over the kingdom of Frindoth hangs the shadow of the Gloom, a wraith-like creature that emerges every twelve years, demanding a sacrifice. Twelve individuals are selected by lottery for the Ritual of the Stones and one of them will give their life for their country to keep the people safe.
When Rhact, a candle-maker, learns that his daughter has been selected to take part in the Ritual, he takes his family and flees. In doing everything he can to protect his family, Rhact has no idea of the repercussions of his actions.
In the capital city of Lilyon, King Jacquard moves to quell a rebellion. Certain warlords have broken away from his council and threaten his throne. Jacquard must deal with the uprising whilst presiding over the ritual. A ritual that also sees his son selected as a participant. Jacquard must keep his focus on ruling his kingdom even if it means losing his son.
The destiny of the Kingdom relies on the Order, a group of powerful warlocks and witches but even amongst their ranks, deception and betrayal emerges. For the witch Marybeth believes she has discovered a way to defeat the Gloom. Determined to avenge her fatherís death Marybeth sets out on her own path to free Frindoth from the Gloom - A journey that certain members of the Order are eager to stop.
The choices of these three people will change the nation and begin a battle Frindoth may never recover from.
* * *
Rhact is now a settled family man. Gone are the days of reckless adventure and mischievous escapades. He does not miss those days and has no desire to return to them. All Rhact is focussed on is obtaining his own shop to sell his candles. The Ritual of the Stones however has other plans.
Twelve random individuals will be selected and one of them will be sacrificed to the Gloom, the wraith-like creature that haunts Frindoth.
When Rhact learns that his daughter has been selected to take part in the Ritual, he takes his family and flees. In doing everything he can to protect his family, Rhact has no idea of the repercussions of his actions.
Rhact and his family are forced to live on the run. With each step they witness the devastation their selfishness has caused. They see the once peaceful kingdom of Frindoth torn apart as King Jacquard struggles to maintain order over those who seek to usurp him.
Conflicted between putting things right and remaining hidden, Rhact watches his world fall apart around him. Throughout this he is counselled by the witch Marybeth. But can he trust her? Marybeth claims she can put a stop to the Gloom but there are others that do not wish to see this happen.
Rhact has started a chain of events that will change Frindoth forever and lead to a battle the likes it has seen.